“Do I want to be a hero to my son? No. I would like to be a very real human being. That’s hard enough.”
~ Robert Downey, Jr.
This is simply a mother’s perspectiove on Father’s Day. I have one son. No other children. I worry about him sometimes only because like most other parents I want the absolute best for him. My life experiences offered lots of lessons but when I try to share them he usually likes to learn his own lessons in his own way. That can be tough for a parent; to let go and let be.
Yet I have to admit I grew up in a totally different time. Today, things that are considered normal or acceptable would have been frowned upon 50 years ago when we were a more conservative society. Homosexuality for example was kept a secret for as long as possible to avoid the judgmental stares, comments and victimization. If you were a brave man you came out; if you were a woman you kept your secret even longer to avoid the fingers pointing at ‘that lesbian girl’.
In a world of same sex marriages and public displays of affection, these questions came up during a recent discussion with some friends: what would you do if your child told you they were gay? Would you be supportive? Would you put them out on the street if they still lived with you? Would you be accepting of their partner? Would you need an extra supply of blood pressure meds?
I honestly didn’t have an answer but one of the most profound comments that night was this one: “Well you know what? It is what it is.”
As we get ready to salute all dads on Father’s Day in a few days, I salute this parent’s response to the news that both of his sons were gay, even while asking you: what would you do if this happened to you?
And then, the dad was able to share his feelings about his sons.
I appreciated the mature way he supported them.