Life is for Living Every Day

Embracing Faith, Family, Friendship; Love, Laughter, Life

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It is what it is; when your child tells you he is gay

“Do I want to be a hero to my son? No. I would like to be a very real human being. That’s hard enough.”
~ Robert Downey, Jr.


This is simply a mother’s perspectiove on Father’s Day. I have one son. No other children. I worry about him sometimes only because like most other parents I want the absolute best for him. My life experiences offered lots of lessons but when I try to share them he usually likes to learn his own lessons in his own way. That can be tough for a parent; to let go and let be.

Yet I have to admit I grew up in a totally different time. Today, things that are considered normal or acceptable would have been frowned upon 50 years ago when we were a more conservative society. Homosexuality for example was kept a secret for as long as possible to avoid the judgmental stares, comments and victimization. If you were a brave man you came out; if you were a woman you kept your secret even longer to avoid the fingers pointing at ‘that lesbian girl’.

In a world of same sex marriages and public displays of affection, these questions came up during a recent discussion with some friends: what would you do if your child told you they were gay?  Would you be supportive? Would you put them out on the street if they still lived with you? Would you be accepting of their partner? Would you need an extra supply of blood pressure meds?

I honestly didn’t have an answer but one of the most profound comments that night was this one: “Well you know what? It is what it is.”

As we get ready to salute all dads on Father’s Day in a few days, I salute this parent’s response to the news that both of his sons were gay, even while asking you: what would you do if this happened to you?

And then, the dad was able to share his feelings about his sons.
I appreciated the mature way he supported them.



WPC: A Twisty Oops!

One WordPress Photo challenge encouraged us to find a different take on the word: “Twist” and included the following: “it’s the unexpected, it’s surprise, it’s even an amazing ice cream choice”.  Then along came a second challenge theme: “share a photographic “Oops!” moment with us”.

So being a mother with an arsenal of twisting stories which end up in an oops here and an oops there, I felt there was no better photo than the one below (which I could not resist taking so my son in his latter years would know I was telling the truth) which is a clear example of a “Twisty Oops”. Continue reading

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To all Parents who Love their Children


#Barbados #Son #Parenting #Mother

Photo by Steve Cumberbatch


I have a son. He is 18 years old. I was so moved by a WP freshly pressed article I read over at I thought I would share it here, especially because it made me wonder: “what if this were me? what would I do? how would I behave?”

Continue reading

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“Indeed, sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him”

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Sons (and daughters) are a heritage from the Lord

“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5 (NIV)  

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As my heritage and reward from the Lord, my son Nathan is much taller than I am, ‘mouthier’ than I am, and braver than I am. He is loving and kind though opinionated and stubborn. He stands up for those less fortunate as I do and tries to understand the ‘other point of view’ even when it’s a struggle.  More importantly and above all, he is blessed and touched by God, and for this I am thankful.

My son wasn’t really born in my ‘youth’. I was already 32 years old and most of my friends’ children were at least 10 years old if not older. Continue reading

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Resistance to change … it’s usually futile

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

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I tend to resist change; a lot. As long as it’s working and working well, why bother to reinvent the wheel? I take the same route into the office, have basically the same routine when getting ready for work and prefer to know rather than not know. Continue reading


Lord, I am like soooooo anxious!

Photo by Gale E

Photo by Gale E

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” 
Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)

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We all know the verse.  It’s that one that says “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.”   But that’s all very well and good.  After all, Jesus is up in heaven with God and all of the angels.  What do they know about stress at work, pressure to pay bills, dealing with errant children or living under the threat of eviction when we fail to pay our rent?  Indeed, our Heavenly Father is very good at providing for as well as looking after His children 24/7 and we know He never sleeps, but how can he honestly expect us in this day and age “not to be anxious”?  Like, seriously?

Being a student of the Word, I will admit that I am somewhat familiar with Jesus’ teachings and advice.  I will also admit however that no matter how hard I try it’s sometimes very difficult not to “live in fear of the great unknown” aka to be anxious.  I fear losing my job, my home, my friends, my relatives.  Sometimes I fear losing my mind and my self-control as I go about my day-to-day interactions. Most of my fears however involve Nathan. I fear he will not do well in school or win his next judo tournament; that he may be hurt and not come home from school at all; that I may not have the time to teach him everything he needs to know to adequately prepare him for life.

I remember for example, a form level meeting with Nathan’s school.  Based on previous meetings I was a nervous wreck trying to prepare for the worst i.e. more comments of “he can do so much better!” or “Nathan does way too much talking in class!” I sweated as I drove to the school and sweated more as I parked my car. I was quietly having a mental melt-down and hadn’t even talked to a single teacher yet.  But guess what?  The meeting turned out to be a pleasant surprise for his dad and I.  Yes, Nathan could do better; we all agreed.  However he was sitting at the front of the class, taking copious notes and fully participating in discussions.  His History teacher remarked that if a student could get 100% for simply taking and organizing one’s notes she would have awarded him this mark.  His weak areas were identified and we as his parents committed to helping as much as we could.  The entire exercise was completed in just less than an hour (vs. two hours in 2011 and more than three in 2010).  And what did Nate say as we drove home? “See now?  That wasn’t so bad was it?”  I guess that’s why they say a little child will lead us because he was absolutely right.  The short experience wasn’t anywhere near half as bad as how I had (incorrectly) envisioned it.  What a waste of worry and mental anguish!

I may never be totally successful in not being anxious especially since worrying is second nature to me. My goal however is to try and trust God more.  Stressing myself out about something that is yet to happen is probably not the best use of my time, so I will learn to relax and let Him look after me and my family, to lead us where He needs us to go and to accept that He will adequately provide us all with new mercies – every single morning.

Life Questions

  • What are you most anxious about?
  • Have you talked to God about it?
  • How are you actively trying to be less anxious about your life?


Dear God, I love you and praise you for your never ending goodness to me.  I know you know exactly how hard it is for me sometimes to have faith in you, but I ask you to help me believe that this situation that I am going through right now will not last forever.  Help me to be strong and help me to believe – in spite of my unbelief.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.


“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23 (NKJV)

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