Life is for Living Every Day

Thoughts on Faith, Family, Friendship; Love, Laughter, Life


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It is what it is; when your child tells you he is gay

“Do I want to be a hero to my son? No. I would like to be a very real human being. That’s hard enough.”
~ Robert Downey, Jr.

 

This is simply a mother’s perspectiove on Father’s Day. I have one son. No other children. I worry about him sometimes only because like most other parents I want the absolute best for him. My life experiences offered lots of lessons but when I try to share them he usually likes to learn his own lessons in his own way. That can be tough for a parent; to let go and let be.

Yet I have to admit I grew up in a totally different time. Today, things that are considered normal or acceptable would have been frowned upon 50 years ago when we were a more conservative society. Homosexuality for example was kept a secret for as long as possible to avoid the judgmental stares, comments and victimization. If you were a brave man you came out; if you were a woman you kept your secret even longer to avoid the fingers pointing at ‘that lesbian girl’.

In a world of same sex marriages and public displays of affection, these questions came up during a recent discussion with some friends: what would you do if your child told you they were gay?  Would you be supportive? Would you put them out on the street if they still lived with you? Would you be accepting of their partner? Would you need an extra supply of blood pressure meds?

I honestly didn’t have an answer but one of the most profound comments that night was this one: “Well you know what? It is what it is.”

As we get ready to salute all dads on Father’s Day in a few days, I salute this parent’s response to the news that both of his sons were gay, even while asking you: what would you do if this happened to you?

And then, the dad was able to share his feelings about his sons.
I appreciated the mature way he supported them.


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Looking at You (aka Reflecting)

REFLECTING

I look at you
sometimes more than
once in a single day
eyes fully open
not wanting to miss
one single moment,
straining to really see
how much of me
is growing
with you, in you;
not wanting you to be me
(not at all!)
but acknowledging all
that I could ever wish for
is already there … within you …
my most amazing work of art.

© Gale Weithers, 2017

“A work of art is a world in itself reflecting senses and emotions of the artist’s world.”
~ Hans Hofmann

“Only mothers can think of the future – because they give birth to it in their children.”
~ Maxim Gorky

 

 

 


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The Truth About Parenting – And Why It’s Important To Lead By Example

children on tour

Photo by Gale E

“If we never have headaches through rebuking our children, we shall have plenty of heartaches when they grow up.”
– Charles Spurgeon

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Parenting is challenging. Yet it can be so very rewarding!

It is human to wonder if our children really hear us when we speak to them, if they are taking in the life lessons rather than choosing to go their own rebellious ways and if they will honestly leave us in a senior citizen’s home when we become old and frail and unable to look after ourselves. We sigh when they are stubborn and cry when they cry; we laugh at their jokes and hug them back when they know we know they are being cheeky. Would I exchange being a parent for anything in the world? Definitely not!

But here is an excellent article entitled: “4 Reasons More Is Caught Than Taught” which illustrates some of what parenting truly covers. Take a read and then share your comments, especially if you are a parent.

Excerpt: 
CAN’T HEAR YOU
If your words don’t match your actions, then your children can’t hear what you’re saying because your actions are drowning out your words. I know, I’ve done it, but this should give us pause to reflect on what we do can be more important than what we say, as experience has proven that more is caught than is taught. They might not do what you say but do what you do, so our examples are of supreme importance.
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO
The old expression, “monkey see, monkey do” is perfectly appropriate for parents, foster parents, and grandparents. That expression means that they will repeat what you do and not what you say.   Read more

SOME MORE PARENTING TRUTHS 🙂

“To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children. As a consequence of this sacrifice, conscientious parents develop a nobility of character and learn to put into practice the selfless truths taught by the Savior Himself.” ~ James E. Faust

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” ~ Frederick Douglass

“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.” ~ Erma Bombeck

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Why I don’t want my kid growing up normal

As a parent there are so many things you want and/or do not want for your child. And yes, balancing these can drive you crazy!
For starters, you may not want her to be as poor as you were growing up but she still needs to appreciate the value of money, acknowledge the significance of delayed gratification, show empathy for those who do not have enough and embrace the gift of sharing with others. Even after 18 years, I still want Nathan to learn the necessary life lessons by simply listening to me and following my exact instructions … instead of living primarily to experience what happens when a different road is taken.

A lot of this post therefore covers so much of what I should say and how I should say it to my own offspring, that I’m simply going to reblog these words right here for him to see.

Now all I have to do is find a way to get him to read it …

larinnachandler

I don’t want you to grow up normal. I don’t want you to think that the only way to relieve a broken heart is a prescription for a bottle of pills. I want you to feel that hurt, to remember it… and if it was your fault too, I want you to fix that, and not do it again. I want you to learn and not depend on outside stimuli to get you through life.

I don’t want you to grow up normal. To feel that a standardized test is a true measure of your worth and that grades are what define you. I want you to spend time helping other people, growing and learning in your own time. To know that a helping hand to one in need is sometimes worth far more than a test score.

I don’t want you to grow up normal. To never leave the…

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Wordless Wednesday :)

Big smile mug

It’s Wednesday and time for a laugh!
So here’s hoping you enjoy this truly funny clip by Andy Andrews
as shared on the awesome Women of Faith Facebook page;
at the end I’m sure you’ll agree you didn’t know
there were so many versions of “Amazing Grace“!

 

 

 


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Motherhood with Benefits

Photo by Gale E

My son is 18 years old. Now, instead of having to look after him 24/7 it seems as though I spend a fair deal of time reminding him I even exist. When he was born, I decided to totally dedicate 16 years to teaching him as many life lessons as possible. That was the small window I saw us having together before he left my influence. It was definitely a challenge but worth it!

There were lots of things I had to put on hold: parties, going to the gym, studying, working too late.  I’ve shared about being a parent here and here and here and the sacrificial list seemed endless but through it all one thing was clear: I learnt that women cannot truly ‘have it all’. Something has to give.

Life is all about trade-offs … and being in denial does not help. My advice to a younger me would be to make a decision on what I want and what I am willing to sacrifice to get what I want, bearing in mind that total commitment to a career (whether as an employee or entrepreneur) or a family means one or the other may suffer (for lack of a better way of describing it).

Maybe that’s not clear enough but thanks to www.begintobelieve for clarifying in this post My Journey from Motherhood to Other Important Stuff! which included part of a recent interview by Oprah Winfrey featuring Shonda Rhimes. I am a great admirer of Shonda, she is such a brilliant and talented writer! And I guess what’s most exciting is that she is a black woman with children making her dreams happen on her terms.

My final take away: may all women continue to rock on and be awesome – especially those with children and demanding but dreamed-of careers! Thanks for visiting 🙂

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