Life is for Living Every Day

Thoughts on Faith, Family, Friendship; Love, Laughter, Life


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She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink | The Huffington Post

Quote by Matthew Fray

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Came across this thought-provoking article on The Huffington Post and found it really interesting, especially being a divorce statistic.  Isn’t it sad how hindsight involves a lot of 20/20 vision that was missing ‘before-sight’? I believe prevention is  better than cure but in some instances it takes two people to actively agree on the prevention steps, and even then there is no guarantee that the curing stage can be averted.

But let me not influence you yet. Read the article and then answer these questions:

  • Do you agree with Matthew Fray’s take here?
  • Was his wife being totally ridiculous aka a nit picker?
  • What do you think about their relationship?
  • Are you divorced? And if yes, was your divorce as a result of a seemingly petty inconsequential ridiculous situation?

Let’s get a conversation started 🙂

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She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink
by Matthew Fray

It seems so unreasonable when you put it that way: My wife left me because sometimes I leave dishes by the sink.

It makes her seem ridiculous; and makes me seem like a victim of unfair expectations.

We like to point fingers at other things to explain why something went wrong, like when Biff Tannen crashed George McFly’s car and spilled beer on his clothes, but it was all George’s fault for not telling him the car had a blind spot.

This bad thing happened because of this, that, and the other thing. Not because of anything I did!

Sometimes I leave used drinking glasses by the kitchen sink, just inches away from the dishwasher.

It isn’t a big deal to me now. It wasn’t a big deal to me when I was married. But it was a big deal to her.

Every time she’d walk into the kitchen and find a drinking glass by the sink, she moved incrementally closer to moving out and ending our marriage. I just didn’t know it yet.”  Read more

In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, ‘Hey, I messed up. This had nothing to do with you. I didn’t understand what marriage was. I cheated. I was wrong. We couldn’t fix it; it got worse. I stepped away because I didn’t want it to get any worse. You’re the mother of my kids – I don’t want to hate you.’ ~ Kevin Hart

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you. ~ Margaret Atwood

Divorce is never a pleasant experience. You look upon it as a failure. But I learned to be a different person once we broke up. Sometimes you learn more from failure than you do from success. ~ Michael Crawford

 

 


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Talking All About MJ ❤

Autism. For some moms it is a serious daily reality. Let us support as best we can; every shoulder to lean on and every arm to hug helps.

NickysdayWithAutism

What an honor and pleasure it was to be on my girl’s show talking all things autism! Thanks so much shayzon.com for the opportunity!

shayzon.com

#autismacceptance

#mytruthmylife

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Let There Be Light

Photo by Gale E

 

“Too often, we complain about the darkness, “I don’t like this job. These people are so negative. Nobody has a good attitude.” Ask yourself, why do you think God put you there? They don’t need more light in the bright places. That’s an opportunity for you to shine.” ~ Joel Osteen

Well, do I really have to say how much I related to this word by Joel Osteen? Anyone else agree? If you are still working and not enjoying retirement as yet, it is a fact that we spend more of our waking hours on the job than at home with our families. And we all know how these hours can quickly expand just like that into extra hours when trying to complete deadline-driven projects.

I think it would be great to have a job where everything simply fit into place like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. We would get to work on time, take our lunch break on time and leave our office on time. We would get adequate notice about projects and be able to complete them on time. Everyone would be friendly, cooperative and committed as well as supportive team players. Best of all our pay would be unbelievably generous! Yup, that would be wonderful but an ideal job is much like an ideal life: it’s not going to happen.

The world is full of dark places and dark people … as Joel suggests, both need our light. Let’s ask God to show us how we can shine even brighter exactly where He has placed us and by extension to transform a few life negatives into positives.  With Him on our side it can be done.

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin”. 1 John 1:7 NIV

Please share your thoughts with us:
– Are there negative people in your life? How do you manage them?
– How is your job right now: good, bad or ugly?
– If you are retired, is there more light than darkness around you?
– Is there anything you could do differently to shed a little more light around you today?


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Looking for an ‘Aaron’ and ‘Hur’

Take my hand

Take my hand

 “The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.” So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.” Exodus 17:8-12 (NIV)

 

I believe everyone knows the importance of support, whether we are giving it or receiving it. No man is an island and although that may sound like a tired cheesy cliché, it is very true. Think about it. There is no job that we can entirely perform on our own, no child we can raise on our own, no committee we can volunteer to be a part of on our own (if that makes sense), no marriage that can work if only one person is putting in the effort on their own.

In this well-known bible story let’s pay specific attention to the support which Aaron and Hur lent to Moses when his hands grew tired. Here we have one man on each side of him and not for 10 or 15 or 30 minutes but committed all the way until sunset. Based on this help, Moses’ hand with the staff of God remained steady and Joshua was able to win the battle against the Amalekites. Would the battle have been won without this support? No, because we are specifically told that whenever Moses lowered his hand the Amalekites were winning.

Today, is there anyone we can offer to support in some way, no matter how small? Do we know someone who may be physically ill, unemployed or facing a loss of some sort (whether loved one, relationship or significant material possession such as their home or transportation)? Do they need us to keep their hands raised? Or do we ourselves need to find an Aaron and/or Hur to help us hold our own hands up above the waters of life?

Never forget that God considers His children to be keepers of their brothers and sisters. As for me, I will be there to support as needed but in the meantime, admit that I am looking for both Aaron and Hur (not being greedy but realistic – smile) … I know they are somewhere out there.

But what about you? Are you looking for an Aaron or Hur too? Was there a time when you needed serious support and someone was there to lift you over or through the challenge? We welcome your stories 🙂

support


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When did we see you Lord???

children in Barcelona

Just as God looks after the little children so will He look after us 🙂

Jesus left there and went along the Sea of Galilee. Then he went up on a mountainside and sat down. Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them. The people were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the crippled made well, the lame walking and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.
Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.”
Matthew 15:29-32 (NIV)

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At times it is obvious that we live in a society of very inconsiderate people.  There are neighbours who blast their music loudly from their stereo on Sunday afternoons while you are trying to rest, or totally block your gate with their car yet have an attitude when asked to move.  Or what about the people who go to parties and park all along the sidewalk, leaving pedestrians to fend for their lives by having to walk in the road?  I am sure you have never seen able-bodied shoppers park in spaces allocated for the disabled or elderly, and it may only be some of us who are affected by co-workers who meet their personal deadline on a team project but somehow forget to leave you with enough time to meet your own.  We hold our heads as executives go off and make decisions regarding our jobs without consulting us and think nothing of it when we have to work overtime to complete an assignment.  We fume quietly as minibus drivers hold up traffic to have long chit chats or stop their vehicles in the middle of the road to pick up or drop off passengers.  And let’s not forget the pedestrians who appear to literally jump out on to zebra crossings without allowing you enough time to apply your brakes. 

Then there are the little things: someone takes the last ice cube from the freezer and ‘forgets’ to refill the ice tray with water, or they replace the iced water container in the refrigerator with exactly one centimeter of water covering the bottom, or better yet leave two little peeny weeny kernels of corn in the salad dish to avoid washing up … sigh.  I have struggled with much of the above during my lifetime and admit that sometimes I grow really tired of thinking of others when it is so much easier to just not bother.

God reminds us however to go over to the book of Matthew where we can take a closer look at His son’s life.  There we see that Jesus always made the time to be considerate of others.  Even when He was tired or didn’t feel like it, He healed the sick or comforted the poor or simply let someone touch His robe so they could be healed.  He never fussed, never fretted, never even considered using some bad words on the disciples when they didn’t see how 4000 or 5000 people could be fed (or should be fed).  Did Jesus wait until He got to know these people personally before reaching out to them? Did He wait until He felt like helping before bothering to do so?  No!  He is always thinking about us and what He can do for us!  Hallelujah! 

So what is our plan?  Should we continue to think of others in the midst of our topsy-turvy lives where so many others are self-centred and blatantly so?  I can only speak for Gale but let’s see how much we can do for someone else this week … if only just because.

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
‘Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV)

Do you find it hard to be supportive, especially when someone is being totally unsupportive? Is it easy for you to acknowledge the homeless or those down on their luck? Can you reach out and touch someone deemed by society as untouchable? Thanks for visiting and don’t forget to share your thoughts!

Friendship quote_Oprah Winfrey