Life is for Living Every Day

Thoughts on Faith, Family, Friendship; Love, Laughter, Life

After This Life

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Michael Kors, time, watches

Photo by Gale E

 

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” William Penn

I admit it: I am a hoarder. I hate to throw away anything because as soon as I do, I know I’ll need it. Could be an old receipt, a used cardboard box, a pretty empty container – as soon as it’s dumped there’s a need to have it back. But enough was enough.

Today was the day I cleaned out my filing cabinet. There was hardly any space for new files so some of the old ones had to go. I threw out old invoices, old receipts, old To Do Lists. I read a few handouts on writing and blogging, then threw those out too. Definitely a tedious task until I came across the notes written in my postcards celebrating past birthdays and allowed myself to be transported back in time; seems as though I was loved – a lot 🙂

And then I came across one of my poems. Written in 2013, it was published in Blackberry: a magazine – “a magazine devoted to sharing the literary voice of black women. Though we are not formal not-for-profit, this online journal is run by women who strongly believe in its mission to showcase a new generation of writers.” 

The theme for that particular issue? “Time” of course! Because with God there is no such thing as coincidence and it was time for me to not only do some spring cleaning but to enjoy the gift of poetry with which He has blessed me. Writing poetry has been the best blessing ever, helping me to move past loss of relationships, jobs and loved ones over time. That’s why I guess I’m sharing this beautiful poem with you now … in the hope that you have someone in your life who can hold you, touch you and love you – unconditionally.

 

After This Life

Day after day I waited
persistently embracing Time
insistent on finding lost moments
amid long-faded memories
fabulous fabrications folded into certainty
proud pretense alongside superficial reality
a time when you held me
touched me
loved me …

Day after day I waited
permanently pausing Time
all the while straining to rewind
refusing to acknowledge defeat
determinedly delaying deferred dreams
afraid to hope for a better time to come
a time when you would hold me
touch me
love me

Day after day I waited
quickly losing Time
silly little seconds, minutes, hours
slowly tick, tick, tick, ticking
pretending to be meaningful moments
in reality a tossing, twisting torturing time
when you failed to hold me
touch me
love me

Day after day I waited
finally questioning Time
why was I still waiting, wanting, wondering?
Me, a mere muddled mesh of a mess
lying under words of scathing scorn
hurled against my body …
Slaps, snaps, cracks
broken bones eventually collapse
under lies weighted as truths
imitating, ingratiating, instigating
holding me down when all I wanted
was simply to let you hold me
touch me
love me …

Day by day I moved (slowly)
finally relinquishing Time
letting it lead me to leave you
to walk away and not look back
standing strong and silent
resilient and resistant
raising to release you from holding me
touching me
loving me …

Day by day I press on
secretly securing Time
accepting my true space
looking forward to a future life
after this seemingly timeless life
a time where I will embrace ME
enjoy holding me
touching me
loving me …

All in Time
my own sweet Time
with Time.

© Gale E. Weithers, 2013

 

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Author: galeweithers

Barbadian mother of teenager; lover of loud laughter amidst tears; happy to follow God's lead while writing a word or two (and winning national awards) to make a difference in the lives of others.

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