It’s Day 5 of 30 of #NaBloPoMo. 25 more days to go and so far so good.
Today though, I am going to be lodging a serious formal complaint. It’s a lost cause really but I’m going to put it out there anyway.
Before we get to the meat of the matter, I have a confession to make: I love desserts!
Unfortunately, my hips, thighs and abs love these sugary yummy delicacies even more than I do … but that’s another topic for another post.
Defined by the New Pocket Oxford Dictionary as: “the sweet course eaten at the end of a meal” I can admit to eating sweet ‘courses’ and snacks before many a meal.
But my complaint is this: I am tired of desserts bullying me into eating them, especially when they know I am on a diet. Isn’t bullying illegal? Well when a dessert bullies a human being, they should be charged immediately by the Calorie-Counting Police.
I am sick of the way desserts tease and taunt me, first whispering my name quietly, then getting louder and louder as I try to ignore their impassioned pleas for companionship. The worst offenders of all are cheesecake and maple almond ice-cream. These two join up to become a formidable and vicious tag team, blatantly using brute force to get me to do what they want against my will (a weak will, but still a will as far as I’m concerned). I try to stand firm but it doesn’t work. They torture me mercilessly until I break, reluctantly giving into that first slice and first scoop.
Interestingly enough, for Lent this year I gave up eating desserts and sweet stuff. I meant well. I really did. But as soon as the sun had set on Ash Wednesday the Dessert Devil attacked me in full force, tempting me and sweet-talking me into taking just a teeny weeny bite of coconut bread (why do people deliberately bring things into your home when they are fully aware you are deliberately trying to avoid them?).
“Come, eat!” DD coaxed me, “you have nothing to fear, because the Calorie-Counting Angels will save you from certain self-destruction. Throw yourself down at my mercy and worship me!”
Not! Because resistance for me is usually very futile and no-one saves me. As long as I can see it, it’s a done deal. So what am I to do? Christmas is a few weeks away and here in Barbados that means there will be sweets and more sweets. Everywhere you go there will be rum cake to be eaten with pineapple ham, washed down with large glasses of sorrel or maybe mauby. You cannot visit a home without being offered an alcoholic drink … how can you possibly say no to liquid dessert?
And so my complaint stands. The Dessert Devil aka DD is preventing me from staying the course in November so that I will have ‘room in the inn’ in December. He needs to be charged and incarcerated! Who’s going to help me find a judge and jury, as well as provide me with some much needed support so I can remain strong?
My comments box is ready and waiting … but in the meantime, take a look at some of the desserts I’ve enjoyed this year as I’ve travelled the world 😉