Are you tired of saying yes and then regretting it? Do you feel like you are the only doing all of the work and in retrospect you should have said no to that project, volunteering to help out with that event or telling your child you would pick them at 3:00 a.m. from the party? And if you are brave enough to actually say no does it make you feel totally guilty and tormented afterwards?
Personally, it took me a while to learn why saying no was sometimes better than saying yes. In the end, it came down to managing expectations – both mine and the person asking.
Now, before responding to requests I ask myself the tough questions:
- Will I really be able to meet this deadline?
- Can I realistically fit this into my already packed schedule?
- How offended will “X” be if I say no?
- How will I manage this relationship when I don’t meet the expectations I’ve erroneously agreed to?
Thankfully, I found this really great post which proved I wasn’t alone in my thinking and thought I would share it with you. It’s written by Barbadian author Jackie Jones and entitled: “You Are Not For Rent”. Here’s a brief excerpt of her thoughts:
“It is even worse when it becomes obvious that those we’re helping, have no intention of slowing down. They take and take, ‘renting us out’ so to speak, until finally, they’re no rooms left in the inn. We are crumpled, exhausted beings of our former selves, so much so that when we look in the mirror, at times we’re not sure who the person staring back at us is.”